Saturday, February 25, 2006

To Remind You All Again

Well, I've already received some pictures, but they are slow in coming. And I'm going to keep posting this post until we get enough for a good calendar.

When I first started this blog I had an idea that was genius. As with many ingenius ideas, the masses are too stupid to appreciate them. The idea was to put together a calendar of good looking babes that were Capitalists. I was going to call it "The Babes of Capitalism Calendar." I would then take the proceeds and pay off my mortgage.

Of course this fell flat on its face for one simple reason and one simple reason only. And I forgot this reason, thus I have only myself to blame for this because it is a rule, a lesson that I learned many years ago;

Men will always find reasons to do things,
while women will always find reasons NOT to do things.

This undeniable truth largely explains many phenomenon we see in life.

It is why there is no female equivalent to a sausage party.

It is why the majority of asking out is done by men (and the majority of denials are done by women).

It is why you can have a great band, an open dance floor, and swarms of girls, brimming on the edge of their seats, their bodies bouncing to the music, ready to burst out on the floor, and yet when you ask them to dance they say, "well, I just ordered a drink" or "we're about to leave" or "I'm not really in a dancing moood."

And above all, it is the primary reason why men on the average will always make more than women and constitute the majority of astronauts, explorers, economists, enterpreneurs, executives etc. etc.

Thus, I've been barking up the wrong tree.

Yes, it would have been cool to have a calendar that I could offer of all these capitalist babes.

Yes, it would have been cool to have capitalist babes across the fruited plains do this as a little funny ha ha that we could all have a good laugh about and be proud of.

Yes it would have been cool!

But if I wanted something to get done, why did I rely on women?!!? Women will always find reasons NOT to do things.

Thus, it seems, once again, if anything is going to get done around here we're going to have to do it ourselves guys.

Therefore men I propose the;

"16 Month Calendar of Male Economist Extravaganza!"

Yes, 16 rememberable months of 100% pure economist sexiness. Fat or skinny, tall or short, ugly or....ummm...welll, uh, ugly.

All economists are welcome to enter.

Here are the rules;

You can be a professional or amateur. A student or professor. Aspiring or employed. Public sector or private. You needn't be employed as "an economist" you just need to be a student of it and love economics.

The more outlandish the better. This is not supposed to be a sexy calendar (duh). The more hideous/nerdy the better. I fathom seeing a 300 pound economist with swimming trunks reading "Atlas Shrugged" on the beach.

No nudity damn it. If I didn't want the contestants of the BABES of Capitalism to send in nude pictures, I sure as hell don't want you schlepps sending them in either. Keep it clean.

Pictures should be large enough that they'll take up an 8X11 piece of paper without losing resolution.

Inlcude some kind of bio

Once you have your picture, e-mail it to captcapitalism@yahoo.com. Note it is best to copy and paste this e-mail, it is NOT CAPTAINCAPITALISM@yahoo.com, but CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com

Get off your lazy ass and do it NOW!!!! Don't procrastinate because I have to print these things off myself unless you all want to pay $30 for each calendar!

I shall choose the best 16 pictures sent in. Those chosen will win a free calendar on my dime.

The calendar will then be put up for sale for some reasonable fee. Proceeds will go to the "Help Captain Capitalism Pay Off His Mortgage Early Fund."

Get crackin'!

9 comments:

Captain Capitalism said...

No DMK, pictures of yourselves. It's a "Male Economist Calendar." Not charts or graphs. It's supposed to be a parody of these "Babes" calendars, except it will be economists.

So forward it to your professors or the Econ department at your university.

Captain Capitalism said...

the more "economist-like" the better.

I shan't complain if you're surrounded by hordes of chicas in bikinis.

Megan said...

Ok let me get this straight.

You were going to do a pin up calendar with women who are economists, but then....you didn't.

You say women always find reasons not to do things - you state this as the reason that you didn't do the calendar.

That's a reason not to do something. You're a girl.

Captain Capitalism said...

Megan and Jonathan,

I already tried that and NOBODY SENT IN PICTURES!

And yes, Jonathan, I agree it owuld be 1,000 better, but unforutnately the success of that calendar relies upon women.

The next best thing is a spoof calendar.

JTapp said...

I'm tempted to forward your post around the econ department here. None of the professors would be game, but I'm sure some of the students would be. You need to create a better prize though. (Incentives!)

Captain Capitalism said...

Fer cripes sake, can you just forward it to the econ department without the behesting of incentives. Isn't fame and popularity enough?

Sanjay said...

Uh, you've been questioning your sexuality lately, haven't you, CC?

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Captain Capitalism said...

Actually, it's just an elaborate plot to get you to send a picture Sanjay.

Captain Capitalism said...

Well you can send one in if you want!