South Dakota as you know is not the hotbed of swing or salsa.
It's not really the hot bed of anything unless it's late July and the Sturgis rally is going on.
So to find dancing you need to take what you can get and the local senior center actually has some really great dancing. Obviously when I attend me and my friends are the youngest people there. But something just dawned on me while I was showering this morning, plotting my weekend.
"The old ladies at the senior center like it when men are charming."
This may not seem to be an obvious epiphany, but ask yourself the question:
"In various social circumstances, who has been more receptive to your charms or innocent flirtations? 18-45 year old women or women of the WWII generation?"
Admittedly, I acknowledge that old grandma Tilly doesn't mind the occasional harmless flirtation from a young man. Matter of fact, they probably welcome it. When asking the old women to dance I usually say something stupid like:
"Don't tell my girlfriend"
Or
"Your husband isn't going to kick my ass is he?"
They eat it up.
But beyond that, what I observed is it's almost more natural and I feel much more at home dispensing the occasional bits and bytes of charm to a woman who is 82 than a woman who is 28. And the reason why I contend or theorize is the woman who is 82, age aside, was brought up in a generation where she appreciate the occasional bit of charm or flirtation from men. She KNEW it wasn't a ploy to get her into the sack, it was just an innocent young guy, yapping his gums, making funny ha ha's, trying to cajole a laugh.
You can't say that about a 28 year old woman. You pull off any kind of "charm" and they think you're scamming on them. You try to say something witty, with purely humorous intent, they immediately think you're hitting on them and they tighten up.
Of course, if the girl is enamored with you, you can say anything and they'll laugh.
"My dachshund is flying F-15's over Mars"
*giggle giggle* "Oh, you're so funny Captain!"
But I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about a general social setting, you walk up to a group of women, start chatting, which group do you think is going to be more receptive to your frivolous flirtations, not because of age, but because of upbringing?
Alas, tonight I get to go to the Senior Center again. And I'm sure I'll see Tilly and Gertrude there. And I'm sure they'll not turn me down for dances either. But what is going to be pleasant, is that when we sit down at the table or we converse, I'll feel very free and at home to make the occasional compliment or when introducing them to others, saying:
"Ah! Sophia Loren, I'd like to introduce you to Audrey Hephurn. Audrey, this is Sophia."
They eat it up.
7 comments:
Women in our "liberated" sexual market have decided the best way to deal with the increase in casual sex is to screen out anyone who flirts with them. This is called the "bitch shield" by anyone familiar with the situation. Rules don't apply to alphas because of the gina tingles they generate. So really, the women end up screening out their best shots at marriage while setting themselves up nicely in the alpha carousel range. While this is going on, their general social interaction with men is cut short. The resulting lack of experience makes them seem less mature.
I love your "dance" stories. My son took dance lessons after he graduated from high school because he wanted to be able to "really" dance with a girl. He showed up for swing dance lessons at the Student Union the first week at Univ. of Mich. They asked him to be an instructor since he danced better than all the other guys. Each week the girl instructor taught him the dance before they gave the lessons. He made his pocket money and did it all the way through his Masters Degree. His wedding was fabulous because of all his swing dance friends putting on quite a show! Since his girlfriend, now wife, went to a different school, her friends had never seen him dance. They thought he was just a computer nerd who studied all the time. Their mouths dropped at the wedding when he got on the floor!
Cappy, are you wearing a zoot suit to the seniors' dances? Spats?
We must know these things!
Well, looks like the senior center might be put on hold tonight.
let me tell you about Justin.
Justin is a sweet kid from indiana.
About 27. Good looking kid too. Ripped like you would never believe, but the sweetest guy on the planet.
Of course his date stood him up tonight.
The lame excuse?
"Well she doesn't have cell phone reception all the time so if she doesn't call it means the wind or the atmosphere is such she can't call him."
This kid is NICE, SWEET, KIND, VERY GOOD LOOKING and he could crush you like a grape he works out so much.
So I'm going to see if I can't find him a date tonight, let alone myself. Going to take a miracle, but I just wanted to point out another girl passing up the best thing that would have ever happend to her.
Cap'n,
It could be a ruse, reminds me of the Bill Cosby riff on his mother when she became a grandmother and was all sweet and lovable: "This is NOT my mother, this is an old woman trying to get into Heaven!"
Seriously, it's the difference between women being told the most important thing in life is to raise a family with a loving spouse vs. the most important thing in life is to show you're the equal of any man by getting advanced degrees and climbing the corporate ladder.
No, this girl is a "hottie" 25 year old who lives with her PASTOR father.
The psychoses this woman has I can only imagine.
Plus she said she wanted to go out with the kid, so she did just stand him up.
And now he's all depressed, following her around like a puppy dog.
Poor kid's life is going to be ruined.
Well Cap'n, I think it just goes to show that when you haven't been raised and indoctrinated/educated that men are pretty much the source of all evil, the effects are pretty evident and self-explanatory.
And this just goes to show the impact on the young hottie who stood up your buddy to have been raised to view men just like that, he's really not even accorded the status of personhood, he can be played with or toyed with at leisure, there are no repurcussions, moral or otherwise.
Just look at the crap they listen to. My daughter loves these chick anthems, which lyrics that are just hamster-rationalization steroids:
"I'm just a crazy bch, I do what I want when I feel like it" - Avril Lavigne
"Just because I said it, doesn't mean that I meant it" - I forget, but it's the song she's learning at her music lessons.
Full of profanity and terrible messages, but literally available anywhere, I have no ability to filter it out, and my stated opposition just adds fuel to the fire.
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